A Reminder

The other day I'm cleaning out my nightstand, and I come across a prophetic word that we received right after Michael accepted his new job. We were leaving church and a lady approached us giving us this word. Anytime I ever get a word it is ALWAYS the same. It pretty much says that I need to continue to seek Him at a deeper level because I have a bunch of emotional and physical junk that needs healing. Maybe I will start to heal up some of that stuff this year...I would sure like to receive a different word someday. lol! The part of the word that really touched my heart was this: " You are going through a tough time right now. It is a struggle, and the Lord wants you to continue to be patient through this huge transition." WOW! At the time we received this, it didn't really make since because everything was going great. Michael got offered more than we asked for, the house sold in 4 days, and everything was so easy. We weren't struggling at all. But now it all makes sense...the Lord was speaking of what is to come and He was so sweet as to prepare us for it. But it didn't sink in until I found that word and read it six months later. I can't explain what a comfort it is to know that the Lord sees us and He knew that this was going to be hard. However, He is still here. He has never left us, and no matter what the future holds for us in Lubbock, He is constant. I have realized that it is so easy to let your mind and heart get all foggy, and you can't see anything but the struggle. But the fog always lifts. It may take awhile, but it will leave. And we will continue on and be a happy strong family that is blessed.
Thank you to my two sweet friends that let me vent, and then spoke to me with such love and encouragement. Thank you for loving me for me.

A New Year!

BIRTHDAY FUN!!

Well, my baby boy is 1, and Jo is 3! I can't believe a year has gone by since Gage was born, and knowing that he is my last baby has made it even more sentimental. Their party was so much fun..we had several different parties. Jo stuck her face in her cake, and Gage stuck one little finger in the frosting and spread it all over his face. It was adorable! We went to chucke cheese today and had a blast. Makayla got lots of princess stuff for her birthday and she LOVES it! She has been taking naps in her dress, and NEVER wants to take it off. Gage got an awesome truck that makes noise, moves, and lights up. He squealed and started clapping his hands when he opened it! He is all boy! Anyways, I love my kids, and I love celebrating their birthdays. After being told i would never have children, celebrating their birthdays is like a reminder that God healed me and blessed me with two beautiful children! As I look around and see toys cluttering the floor, I smile. Wow, I have kids. I have been given the opportunity to care for them, and be their mommy. At times when I am worn out from the constant cleaning, feeding, laundry, and discipline that takes place everyday, I stop and think....the world said I would never, but the Lord said I will double it. Here is a sweet baby girl and a precious baby boy....I am blessed.

A Breakthrough?

Hey everyone! Well, it has been awhile, and i have officially got all of the house painted! (except the living room...michael won't let me, but I'm working on it!) So I sat on the couch last weekend and realized that I haven't just zoned out and relaxed in two months!! I even took a nap! It was soooo amazing. The house is coming along. We haven't gotten the kitchen and utility room tiled and are starting on the bathrooms next. We also got the new countertops on....NO MORE GREEN!!! (well, except the carpet but not much longer) It is really started to feel like home now. We all went out of town last weekend and I found myself being excited about coming home to Lubbock...that's right, I called Lubbock "home." I am quickly realizing that my "home" is my family. Whenever we are all together, that is when my heart is at peace and happy. I love my family. They are so amazing. Ok, back to my title....this weekend we get up on sunday and totally don't feel like going to church. You know the usual, "I don't have anything to wear? I'm tired. The kids are cranky. We don't have enough time to get ready." The list goes on and on. But somehow we battled the urge to skip and arrived Church on the Rock. We have gone there once before and really liked it. Everyone is very sweet and welcoming. All week long I had been talking to Makayla about going into her class like a big girl. She did great!! She cried a little but she didn't throw herself on the floor. This was a HUGE deal. The service was amazing. This church is filled with the holy spirit and we feel very comfortable there. The nursery workers were very understanding towards Jo and when we picked her up, she was so happy! This was a first! And then today at school, she went in without crying too! She says she likes her new church and wants to go back. Thank you Lord! Just when you think you can't keep going, Jesus does something amazing. Isn't He sweet?

Changes

well, it's been awhile, but I know you all understand! Life is good, but different as Jo would say. The other day Jo says, "my school is different. my home is different. my church is different. Everything is different, mom. I want to go back to Paramount." She says all of this as she is staring out the window with the saddest face I have ever seen. Talk about breaking your heart. How do you fix that when you feel the same way?? I have always known that I am not good at changes, but I thought this time around I would cruise right through it since I have Jesus in my life now. It has been easier but I have realized that I have to lean into Him instead of trying to fix it all myself. I can't heal my little girl's broken heart, I can't update a whole house in a matter of weeks (or even months) ...I can't do it mysef. I always knew I was a perfectionist, but to what degree was unclear until this move. Moving from a house that you had everything the way you wanted it (almost), and moving into a house that needs new flooring, paint, applicances, window treatments, etc. is HARD!!! Don't get me wrong....we are happy we bought this house. We knew all of this coming into it, and we both instantly saw a great vision for this house. It will be beautiful when we are done with it. But the problem is, I want it done NOW! I didn't realize how much my emotions are linked to my surroundings. I can't be content until my surroundings are perfect, which the Lord is helping me through. This is my biggest struggle right now....learning to be content with where I am right now. The Lord is my Joy. Not my home.
And I believe this, but how do I "get" it in my spirit??
Overall, we are doing good. We went to a Texas Tech football game last weekend. Jo LOVED IT! She kept yelling "go red raiders!" We are still looking for a church home. We are going to visit a couple of more before we commit. Makayla is struggling alot right now. She doesn't want to go to school, church, or gymnastics anymore. "mama, will you go with me?" She is needing alot of security right now. I think the new has wore off, and now she realizes that she isn't going back to Amarillo.. so please pray for her. Well, that's all for now.

My sweet baby girl!